BoteJook

Wednesday, March 21, 2007 / 10:48 AM

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If there's no one beside you
when your soul embarks,
I'll follow you into th dark.
There's nothing t cry about.
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Thank you Leedia & Zhi :)
So it seems like I fought with my parents,
& I know tomorrow is Doom's Day.
I have nowhere t go or turn t...
My parents tread on me when I am on th ground...
My friends, they kick th dust of th road onto my face as they pass me, leaving me lying on th floor, helpless..
Where are th people whom I used t call friends?
I feel so happy for all of you who have good friends,
I suddenly feel so alone, so so alone, and miserable.
My friends aren't there for me anymore.
In fact, I don't quite see when they ever were; much less my parents.

Even this morning, I thought I'll see today with a light hearted mood & smile.
I feel like a waif.
& Usually, I'd think of death as an escape from everything.
"Death is for us t appreciate in it's own time" - Zhi

I held my tongue.
I wonder how soon til my raw skin will start blistering and bleed?

Sometimes, I really hope that time could turn itself back.
I wouldn't mind being a 5 year old Jordus, who has just started
started learning on how t ride a 3-wheel bicycle; struggling.

I struggle so hard along by myself.
Will You(s) take my pain away?
I want t stop wearing that mask that once helped hide my fear and pain.
I just want t run away from these problems & troubles.
They poison me inside, & I just hope for a spark of flame.
T burn them all.

I don't feel happy, nothing's gonna be alright.
I'll cry all through the night.
thinking of all th silly stupid mistakes I made in my life.
regretting each one of them.
Time won't heal anything.
Time only decays.
Decays and destroys and eats away at everything.
Everything that i hold dear and worked hard t keep alive.
Time brought me hence.
Time shall bring me to the end and thus into death.
Time is an evil nemesis.
One which we cannot fight.

Fear is th heart of love.